Just move to a fat country, then you'll be instantly a thin person!
I used to hear "Look at your belly, lose some weight" from my brother and friends back in Korea. Now, I hear "Oh my god, you are so thin!" Because I am used to hear what I used to hear, it is always embarrassing to be told that I am thin.
What? You are in America?... You still have options to move Samoa or Kiribati.